It's my wheelchair and I'll ride it if I want

• The My broken leg web site is a joy. Lots of healthy backslapping and plenty of grumbling and moaning, completely addictive. The thread holding it together is obviously the frustration pain and annoyance to be found when laid up with a damaged lower limb. Most of the posts are straight forward based on steps forwards or back but occasionally one starts an outpouring of pent up fury.
  The lovely Meli started one recently posting about well meaning people trying to get her out of the wheelchair.
  
  “I am so sick of people telling me I should be walking by now. They come to see me, or just drop in the store, and say, "What are you still doing in that wheelchair" or "Are you still on that walker"? These are suppose to be friends…….I know these folks mean well but, please, give me your best shot at what I can say to get them off of my back. Of course they tell me their horrible "strain", "pulled ligament", or "bunionectomy" stories and I just want to scream at them. What can I do. I think I am going to sever some relationships over this.”
  
  Well did this not open the flood gates. Hang them high. Cripple them and then give them a walker, experiment on them using ...duct tape + crutches + mismatched shoes. Trust me on this, don’t screw with the MBL’s, they don’t take it sitting down (Metaphorically of course cos they are actually sitting down) However amongst the more physical responses, there was a few snappy verbal comebacks suggested. Some worthy I think of repeating here.
  
  
• I really like having the handicapped parking place
• I've got these cool calluses on my hands from the walker, and I hate to let them fade
• I could walk, but then nobody would carry stuff or open doors for me
• I'm a pity addict
• I’m doing it for a bet
• They wouldn’t give me the handicapped motorbike
• Does your medical advice count as a second opinion
• Are you saying I've got a limp!
• It's called style dear, something you’ve obviously never come across during your chequered career.
• I like it, I'm having my other leg done shortly.
• I'm doing a charity wheelchair run, would you like to sponsor me for 10 quid
• I'm trying to get an entry in the Guinness book of records, only another year to go.
• It’s a fashion statement
• It’s not a wheelchair, it’s a chair with wheels dumbo
• It was this or the ejection seat
• My accountant suggested it for tax reasons
• You think this is bad, you should see me break dance.
• It's not so much a wheelchair, more an affectation
• I'm entered in this years special Olympics and have to get some practice in
• It's an insurance scam you idiot
• It’s a sexual thing
• Well I did try crawling but this is faster
• Why don’t you F**k off you decomposing bag of chicken giblets

Bottom line, next time you see someone with a cast and crutches coming at you, stand to one side or suffer the consequences. (thanks to Amy for some crackers)